No Risk, No Story

One year later after moving from NYC to CA.

One day on TikTok, I stumbled upon a viral clip from Mel Robbins that hit home. She said:

“Live somewhere in your twenties you’ve never lived before. Move. In your twenties, move. You can always move back…anything is possible. A big move doesn’t have to be forever, but what happens when you move in your twenties is it changes you forever.”

Today, as you’re reading this, believe it or not, is the year anniversary of my move to California. One year ago, I hopped off the plane at LAX with a dream and a cardigan by myself for an adventure of a lifetime. Can you believe it’s been a year? I surely cannot.

People always say the first year is the hardest. I’m chiming in to say that it indeed, is tough. There are many factors outside of the obvious that have made this difficult. One of them that I’ve alluded to over the past year, but continues to remain in its truest form is my identity. My whole life, I’ve grown up a certain way, a different way of life, a different culture. Finding myself staying true to who I am and trusting my gut has been one of the most difficult things I continue to conquer daily.

Recently, Aly & AJ, a sister band that I’ve been listening to since my childhood and who still produce music that I continue to grow up with released their newest record last month. In their song I Don’t Know What It Is, Aly recounts the moment of leaving Laurel Canyon and what she describes as her true home. She sings:

Now we’re coming up on spring,
And I can’t help but feel regret,
For everything I left the canyon for.
I don’t know what it is,
I’m just taking it one day at a time.

It's again, another moment where the music finds its way to help me heal and show me I’m not alone. So, I decided to record a cover of it.

I’m finding myself more again by investing in myself in ways I’ve never done. I booked a yoga retreat for myself in the Azores, something I definitely didn’t have on my radar a year ago. I found a yoga studio that’s helped tune into my body more, which in turn encouraged me to prioritize my practice at home multiple times a week. I even spontaneously decided to go see an album release show by myself for Aly & AJ and got to meet them.

The moral of the story is that I’m still living it. I’m enduring the unknown and this continuous transition hamster wheel I’m spinning on. The unknown frustrates me. I’m an earth sign, I thrive on stability and strong grounded environments and this period continues to scare the sh*t out of me.

But with all the noise fluttering around me, the most important thing I want to make known: I’m proud of me.

That’s it. At the end of the day, the noise will always be there, as well as the uncertainties and challenges life presents at any given moment. A year is one chapter of the journey, it’s one of the hardest chapters. But I did it. Me. And I’m still doing it.

People say that I’m brave for taking this step. Sure, call me brave. But when there’s no risk, there’s no story.

Maybe Mel Robbins is right. I have been changed for good.

For now, thank you, everyone. Let’s take some more risks and tell more stories.

I’ll see you soon.

xox,
your city mouse.